Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a condition where a person has an exaggerated view of their own importance and a constant need for attention and admiration, while showing little empathy for others. It can be caused by things like childhood trauma or being overly praised. If you or someone you care about is dealing with this, therapy for narcissistic personality disorder can be a great way to help. To understand the journey towards healing, here are the 10 key stages.
Stage 1: Seeking Relief or Approval
Most individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder enter therapy not with the intention to reflect or change, but to relieve unpleasant emotions or to please someone important in their life. They may leave as soon as they feel better or once they feel they have satisfied the person who urged them to attend therapy.
Stage 2: Avoiding Future Hurt
At this stage, some clients find therapy more helpful and interesting than expected. If they are open to some level of self-reflection, they may stay long enough to understand their emotional triggers and develop a plan to avoid future pain. However, they focus on how others affect them, instead of looking at how they affect others.
Stage 3: Recognizing Their Defense Mechanisms
Here, clients begin to identify their primary defense strategies or coping mechanisms. This often involves exploring their childhood and understanding how they developed these patterns as a response to early life experiences. It can be relatively easy for many people to reflect on this stage without feeling criticized or judged.
Stage 4: Developing New Coping Skills
At this point, the person has a better understanding of their behavior and the reasons behind it. While the old self-centered strategies don’t vanish right away, the focus shifts to developing healthier ways of meeting emotional needs.
Stage 5: Forming New Habits
Narcissistic coping mechanisms are often deeply in-built habits in the brain. The goal is to stop the old automatic behaviors and replace them with healthier ones. With practice, these new behaviors become natural, and the old ways of thinking fade.
Stage 6: Considering the Impact on Others
At this stage, clients typically cannot seriously consider how their actions affect others until they have formed new, healthier coping strategies. Once they feel some pride from their progress and have developed new habits, they begin to realize that considering other’s needs may benefit them as well. This doesn’t immediately lead to true emotional empathy, but they start to understand the importance of balancing their needs with those of others.
Stage 7: Addressing Childhood Pain
Now that the individual is calmer and better equipped to handle life’s challenges and past traumas. As therapy continues, they work through these childhood wounds, which promotes emotional healing. As a result, they start to feel compassion for their younger selves and develop a more balanced self-image, helping them see others in a fairer way.
Stage 8: Changing Their Inner Voice
Individuals with NPD must first learn self-empathy. Therapy for narcissistic personalityfocuses on their inner voice from childhood, which often shapes their beliefs and self-worth. This voice can be harsh, so clients are encouraged to examine and change it. Over time, they replace the critic with a kinder, supportive voice.
Stage 9: Developing Empathy for Others
Once clients have addressed their own pain and managed their inner critic, they become more capable of looking outward at others. Initially, their empathy may be evoked by someone who reminds them of themselves or who has experienced trauma similar to their own. As this process continues, the person with NPD may slowly expand their ability to feel genuine emotional empathy for others, building deeper connections over time.
Stage 10: Becoming Authentic
As therapy continues, the person begins to trust others and be more real. They start moving away from old defenses and their false self. Being true to themselves brings more joy and freedom, improving relationships and overall well-being. Therapy helps them connect genuinely with others without needing constant approval.
Wrapping it Up
The therapy for narcissistic personality is a gradual process, involving a series of stages that help individuals gain self-awareness, develop healthier coping strategies, and promote empathy. With time, support, and commitment, those with NPD can lead more authentic, meaningful lives and build better connections with others.
