From Amish Uber to Legal Hellscape: Why I Might Need My Own Hardship Hearing After This Mess
[Sound of coffee mug clinking] Is this thing on? Whatever. It’s… what day is it? Who cares.Buggies, Vans, and Why I Need a Drink
Okay, so… Jefferson County. Horse buggy. Van. Dead teenager. I mean… what? Is this 1824 or 2024? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills here. Maybe I should call Lee Hardee. At least then I’d know I’m not the only one losing my mind over this.
Emergency Services or Time Travel?
And don’t even get me started on the emergency response. Please tell me they didn’t roll up in a MAST ambulance. Might as well have sent a horse and carriage. Oh wait, that’s what got us into this mess in the first place. I need more coffee.
CSI: Amish Edition
You know what’s really baking my noodle? How the hell do you reconstruct this accident? Poor Michael Vicens Segura or whoever gets this case. What are they gonna do, calculate horse momentum? Is that even a thing? Note to self: Google “horse momentum” later.
Legal Mumbo Jumbo That’s Melting My Brain
Oh, and just to make my life even more interesting, we might have to deal with the Missouri hospital lien statute. Because apparently, regular laws aren’t confusing enough. Let’s throw some 19th-century transportation into the mix. Why not?
I Don’t Even Know Anymore
Look, I became a lawyer to help people. Not to figure out who’s at fault when a buggy gets rear-ended by a minivan. This is not what I signed up for. Maybe I should’ve become a baker. Or a professional napper. Is that a thing? If anyone needs me, I’ll be… I don’t know. Somewhere. Probably trying to find a law book that covers horse-and-buggy accidents. Do they make those? They should. Stay safe out there, folks. And maybe don’t mix your centuries when you’re on the road. My sanity would appreciate it. Now, where did I put that bottle of… I mean, where’s my law degree? I need to stare at it and remember why I thought this was a good career choice. [Muffled thud, possibly head hitting desk]
