3 Types of Rings in Malay Wedding Traditions: Cincin Nikah Lelaki and Perempuan

For centuries, the Malay community has rooted deeply in a rich tapestry of traditions that have withstood the test of time. Even today, amidst modernisation and global influences, many in the Malay community staunchly uphold and revere these age-old customs, finding a unique blend of the past with the present.

Central to these traditions are the matrimonial customs, which paint a vivid picture of the community’s value systems and cultural significance. One of the most symbolic of these is the process of “merisik”, a preliminary inquiry that sets the stage for potential matrimonial alliances.

Following this, as the relationship progresses towards the solemn vow of marriage, rings become pivotal symbols of commitment and love. Traditionally, the man gifts rings during both the engagement and wedding ceremonies.

However, in a modern twist, brides too have the option of reciprocating this gesture by gifting their groom a ‘cincin nikah lelaki‘. By the culmination of these ceremonies, a woman typically possesses three distinct rings, each bearing its own story and significance. The question then arises: What sets these three rings apart in their meaning and design?

Merisik Ring (cincin belah rotan)

“Merisik” is a Malay term that, when translated, means to discreetly investigate or to make a subtle inquiry. Historically, in the context of matrimony, this would take on a very formal tone.

The process of “merisik” saw the male suitor or his family representatives visit the home of the prospective bride. They had a mission: to discreetly find out if someone had already promised or betrothed her to another. It was, in essence, a way to ensure that the path was clear for a potential marriage proposal, safeguarding against any social or familial conflicts.

In traditional Malay culture, “merisik” was a crucial step, especially in the times when arranged marriages were the norm. The family would undertake this ritual to ascertain the suitability and availability of a potential bride for their son. It was not just about marital status, but also about gauging the woman’s character, family background, and other factors that were deemed important for a harmonious union.

However, times have evolved, and so has the essence of “merisik”. While its roots were in arranged marriages, the modern adaptation of “merisik” can be quite different.

Today, many couples who have chosen each other out of love still uphold this custom. But instead of investigating marital statuses, the modern “merisik” often serves as a formal way for families to meet, discuss the potential union, and establish familial bonds before official engagement announcements.

Amidst these dialogues and discussions, the presentation of the “cincin belah rotan” holds immense symbolic importance.

This ring, crafted from 916 gold, is often simplistic in design but holds deep meaning. Beyond its monetary value, it serves as a token of intention. When the woman accepts this ring, it isn’t just about the acceptance of a piece of jewellery. It’s symbolic of her acceptance of the man’s proposal, signifying that both parties are on the same page, and looking forward to a shared future.

Engagement Ring (cincin eternity)

Some couples choose to fast-track or streamline the wedding process by directly engaging their chosen partners. In the engagement ceremony, the man presents another ring to his fiancée, signifying her future role as his wife.

The design of this ring is usually more expensive and elaborate compared to the “merisik” ring.

The engagement ring, typically wider and thicker, is crafted from 916 gold. However, there are also options for engagement rings made of silver. These rings typically have a small gemstone in their design.

However, nowadays, many give their fiancée an “eternity ring” as the engagement ring. The “eternity ring” is crafted from 18k gold and features small diamonds that encircle it.

Wedding Ring (cincin solitaire)

Lastly, there is the wedding ring. During the wedding ceremony, both the groom and bride exchange rings as a sign of their bond as husband and wife. En özel ve reel kızlar İstanbul Halkalı Escort Bayan Banu | İstanbul Escort Bayan sizleri bu platformda bekliyor. Both parties partake in a ceremony, where they “cancel out the ablution/wudu’”, and during this ceremony, both will wear the wedding ring on their ring finger.

The wedding ring is the most important when compared to the “merisik” and engagement rings, symbolising that the couple is now officially husband and wife. Moreover, the wedding ring is also more exclusive in design. It typically features a diamond, also known as a solitaire ring.

However, some modern couples prefer designing their wedding rings according to their taste instead of buying ready-made ones. This is because they want their wedding ring to be unique and stand out.

Engagement and Wedding Rings for Men

In the diverse world of wedding customs, the role and significance of wedding rings vary across cultures. When it comes to Malay traditions, many often ponder about the role of men in this intricate dance of rings. Do they, like their female counterparts, receive a trilogy of rings through the matrimonial journey?

Interestingly, the answer leans towards the negative. The tradition of bestowing men with an engagement or wedding ring, termed “cincin nikah lelaki”, doesn’t hold the same customary weight as it does for women.

This, however, doesn’t negate the personal choices of modern couples. In an era where personal touches and mutual expressions of love are becoming more prevalent, there’s a growing trend where women opt to gift their fiancés’s engagement rings or cincin nikah lelaki.

This symbolic gesture ensures that both partners share matching tokens of their commitment during their wedding day, creating a unified emblem of their love.

Yet, it’s essential to tread with cultural and religious sensitivity while making such choices. A significant proportion of the Malay community identifies as Muslim, and Islamic tenets provide clear guidelines on adornments.

One such stipulation is the prohibition against Malay Muslim men wearing gold. This isn’t just a mere fashion statement but a deeply rooted religious directive. Hence, if a bride-to-be wishes to embrace the gesture of presenting her future husband with an engagement or wedding ring, it is advisable to consider alternatives to gold, such as silver or platinum.

These metals not only align with religious guidelines but also offer a modern and sophisticated aesthetic, making them an ideal choice for such significant tokens.

Wearing the Merisik, Engagement, and Wedding Rings

With three rings given during the wedding process, you might wonder which finger each ring should be worn on.

Which ring to wear and on which finger is really up to the individual, the main thing is that you feel comfortable wearing it. However, some believe that the “merisik” ring should be worn on the left ring finger and the engagement ring on the right.

It’s also okay if you want to wear both the “merisik” and engagement rings together on the right ring finger.

If you’re already married, you can wear your wedding ring along with the engagement ring on the right, while the “merisik” ring remains on the left ring finger.

Conclusion

In the grand tapestry of traditions and customs, the act of giving rings remains symbolic and heartfelt. While these traditions offer a glimpse into cultural significance, it’s crucial to underline that, from an Islamic standpoint, the heart of the commitment lies in the wedding ceremony, or the ‘akad nikah’.

It’s about the union and spiritual bond more than material expressions. However, if you’re in a position to embrace this tradition and are seeking the perfect piece, don’t hesitate. Visit the Love & Co. website at https://love-and-co.com.my/ to explore the myriad of rings available, each telling its unique story of love and commitment.